Sloppiness... Part Deux

I heard back from BusinessWeek regarding their shittiest review ever. They agreed to change two 'factual inaccuracies' in the review. However, everything else will remain the same because they believe it is factually accurate. The client is really upset about it, as they should be. They are a small company and a review like this can do them a lot of harm.

I don't know what to make of it. I don't understand what the point of a product review is if it does not fully address what the product does, which this one doesn't.

For example the excerpt below is from the Review:

"...And for basic song selection, the interface is disappointing. After ripping the CDs, the screen lists both the CDs and the digital files. That makes the list twice as long as necessary."

Here is an excerpt from the email I sent them addressing the above statement:

"Regarding your criticism that the music file list is disappointing because it is twice as long as it needs to be is not accurate. The general idea with a music server is to record your CDs onto the hard drive and then remove them for use elsewhere. You only needed to remove the CDs from the changer to remove the listings in the Music Guide. However, there are users that want both the CD and the compressed MP3 in the system so they can listen to one or the other depending on the location and quality of the playback device and this is the reason Escient keeps them displayed and playable from the Music Guide."

The reviewer's response was that his statement is accurate, regardless of the reasons for the double listings. While technically he is correct, he misses the point. They are listed twice so that the user can listen to either an MP3 or a CD quality playback of the song. The sound quality between the two is substantial, and the typical user of this product has a high-end system that will exaggerate the differences. Furthermore, after confronted with this rather sound (no pun intended) reasoning, he still concludes the user interface disappointing. How can you reach the same conclusion if the premise from you based it has changed significantly?

I think the reviewer had an agenda, needed a product to criticize and chose mine. Why, I don't know. But like I said before, us Shit Goalies deal with this shit for a living. What upsets me is that I expect a little bit more from a pub like BusinessWeek.

Shittle not so Shitty?

Looks like the masses have spoken, and like the recent presidential election demonstrates, the masses be dumb:

"Apple, citing figures it received from NPD Group, said the Shuffle instantly grabbed
43 percent of the market for digital players that use flash memory to store music."
(Fromthis article in the SF Chronicle)

But in all fairness, the commercial success of the Shittle tells me at least two things:

1) A successfully integrated marketing campaign can convince people to buy an oversized USB Drive with a headphone jack disguised as digital music player.

2) The Shittle is a well designed product from an aesthetic perspective. The design of a product, even (especially?) a consumer-trech product, can appeal to people on an emotional level and lead to commercial success.

By leveraging the popularity of the iPod into massive market penetration for the Shittle, Apple has landed another success. Congratulations. But the Shittle is still shitty.

Sloppiness

I would like to introduce you to the shittiest, crappiest, most sloppy and useless product review in the history of mankind. I have sent out hundreds of products for review, and never in my experience have I read such an incomplete and half-assed review of a product: The shittiest review ever

I may be outing myself a little by posting this, but fuck-it. This kind of sloppiness pisses me off. I fired off an email to the reviewer, and I will post that letter at a later date, once this situation has resolved itself. To summarize it, I pointed out 3 instances where the reviewer had his facts wrong and also asked why only half of the product's features were reviewed, and the other half ignored. Seriously, if you review a product, don't you review all of its features? Or am I asking for too much???

I would expect more from a publication like Business Week. However, this is the same pub that gave the iPod Shittle a 4/5 rating(read that review here).

To be continued...

Exhale...

We can all breathe a little easier people. Turns out, the Japanese PM is going to apologize to the Chinese for those little wartime atrocities. No need to worry about the impending gadget war.

This is actually a very smart move by the Japanese. Even though look weak by giving into the demands of the Chinese government so quickly, by doing so they are calling China's bluff. Obviously, the Chinese don't care about an apology. Stirring up public opinion against the Japanese was a calculated move raising opposition to them obtaining a permanent seat on the security council.

Now the ball is in China's court and they will no longer be able to rely on the old wartime atrocities defense. Can't wait to see what their next move is.

Cult of Gadgetry

Has the media's iPod hype gone too far when it starts seriously comparing it to religion? I know the Washington Times has a slight conservative bend to it (read: mother of Fox News), but come on...
Generation Y embraces choice, redefines religion
(4th paragraph)

The iPod is a quality product (I own one), but lets drop its cult of gadgetry status... Please?

Gadget Wars

Time to begin to live up to the title of this infant blog and do some real prospecting...on a global scale.

One topic I'd like to touch upon is the increasing political friction between Japan and China . It's no secret these two countries do not like each other. The majority of their vitriol stems from Japan's aggression in Manchuria in 1930 and gradual imperialist expansion along China's eastern sea board through the end of the war. In addition to military expansion, they did some nasty stuff there such as testing the human plague and mustard gas on otherwise healthy (and live) Chinese citizens. Then there's the rape of Nanking, which makes Abu Grab look like a Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World.

Currently tensions are heating up, especially on China's side where the people are protesting, under government auspices, on a scale that is unprecedented for the Communist oligarchy. These protests are taking two forms: a couple thousand Chinese throwing stones at the Japanese embassy, banks and restaurants like Palestinian wannabes, and a massive grass roots driven petition against Japan's ascension as a permanent member of the UN Security Council (11 million Chinese signatures so far).

Anyone in tune with the happenings of East Asia knows that the real reason the Chinese government is allowing these protests and petition movements, and in fact encouraging them, is due to Japan's recent declaration that it will help the US defend Taiwan if China attacks its 'renegade province'. Don't ever underestimate the importance of the Taiwan issue to China. There are some Chinese, especially certain military leaders who hold substantial sway, who would throw away the economic gains of the last two decades in exchange for recapturing Taiwan by force. It is an emotional issue for them, not a rational one.

So anyhow, nothing above is new, just a quick recap on a topic that has garnered a lot of coverage recently. However, one question that hasn't been asked, until this groundbreaking moment, is what happens to our tech gadgets if this tension increases to the point of war? Let's say China invades Taiwan and Japan and the US rush to her rescue? I know what's gonna happen: NO MORE GADGETS.

That means no more LCDs, Plasmas, computer components, micro processors and those cute Aibo robots for us anymore. Nope - We'll have nothing. They're all made in China, and China will be a bad guy for a while. Best Buy's shelves will be empty (not a bad thing if you ask me) and we won't be able to upgrade our cell phones every year.

The rational is simple - take a look at any tech device and it will most likely say made in China, they are the factory of the world. If it doesn't say made in China, such as most LCDs and Plasma displays, then there is a very high probability that the components in the device will have been made in China then shipped Japan or Taiwan for final assembly. If we're at war (by we I mean the US, pardon the provincial attitude) with China, then Congress will enact sanctions against them barring the import of products or products with components made in China. It's that simple.

So next time someone invites you to a peace rally, or to even hug a tree, don't automatically smack them. Think about the gadgets. Think about what happens to them if we go to war. There's too much at stake people.

Why Tivo Sucks

I'll tell you why (in a second). It's not because you have to fast forward through commercials instead of just pushing a button, it's not because they are promising to deliver pop-up ads while you fast-forward through a commercial, and it's not because of the legion of die-hard sell outs who use Tivo like its a verb and think they are hip while doing so. No, none of the above.

Tivo sucks because of those god-damn noises the machine makes every time you do something. It's constant, and it's really annoying. It's so annoying I refuse to even try to type out its pronunciation. The other day I used a Tivo for about 10 minutes before those damn noises made me put it down and stop watching TV. Imagine that, resorting to not watching TV. That's how much it sucks.

Sound Matters

One of the perks of my job is that I have access to high-end audio/video gear at steep discounts. I have fiscal priorities in my life and instead of spending my hard earned cash on amps, plasmas, and $1,000 cables, I spend most of my free cash on things like this.

However, I did make an investment over the past two years in a very nice AV system. I have a receiver valued at over 1k, a Universal DVD player that retails for around $1600 and a 7.1 speaker system that would set back a mere mortal about $2500. Of course, I paid about 1/3 of those prices for this gear, but it was still a hefty investment considering my means. The end result is that my system sounds great - yes that's a subjective claim, but if you don't believe me then invite yourself over for a listen.

I believe the key to my system is its ability to play multi-channel audio formats (here and here). If you've never listened a multi-channel audio disc, then you're missing out on a beautiful aspect of modern technology. Everything from Pink Floyd to Miles Davis, when played in an SACD or DVD-Audio format, puts you there right in the studio or front in center in the crowd. It's a technology that has lived up to the hype. But it has failed miserably commercially, and will probably go quietly away over the next few years.

Why? The simple answer is that people don't care about sound. What's important is the video displays. In particular plasma and LCD screens have garnered the most attention over the past two years. These have become a status symbol. They are sleek, they hang on your wall and they easily fit into the home decor making them an attractive buy for the queer eye loving crowd. One irony of flat screen displays is that people spend all their money on them, and get thrifty when it comes to speakers. Most of the speakers for plasmas are the cheap ones added on the sides that rely on the TV's internal amp, which is usually a measly 8 watts. You can't squeeze quality sound out 8 watts. The ones I've listened to are ok for dialogue, but there's no bass and they distort easily. So why spend 4k on a display if you can't hear it?

Although I could easily purchase a plasma at a sharply reduced price, I haven't. The title of this post explains why - I spend my money on a system geared toward sound, and every time I turn it on I thank myself for it. Sound does matter, even when watching DVDs. With a capable Dolby or DTS processor you can have the sound and fury of bullets flying behind your head or race cars zooming across your nose. Not to mention Miles tutin' his horn from 5.1 channels.

So in this shit goalie's humble opinion, it's far more wise to buy a less-expensive video display and spend your savings on some bad ass speakers or receiver. They are well worth the investment.

PSPissin

500,000 units sold in the US. That's around 1.25 billion in sales or the GNP of a developing country. Not bad. But does the PSP live up to the hype? Why don't we take a look at it and find out? Well, too bad I don't have one and we can't take a look at it.

But I have heard good things from the people who have one. Case in point, I headed to my gym the other day and went for a swim after the weight room. The life guard, a young kid with dreads just out of high school, was sitting there with thumbs and index finger twiddling away on his PSP. So I asked what game he was playing, how was it, or something to that effect. His response was fuck off I'm busy here. It wasn't exactly like that, but it's what he was thinking. I'll take that as a positive endorsement of the PSP. After our conversation abated, I went for a swim and wondered if I were to drown would he put down the PSP and save me. I felt reassured the pool was only 6 feet deep. Everyone else I've talked to has had more or less the same opinion (but hopefully they wouldn't let me drown).

So what's my take? Well, I'm not a video game fanatic. I have an Xbox, it's pretty cool, but it's been collecting dust since I finished Halo 2. From talking to my buddies, who are much more serious gamers than me, the games seem pretty legit, and everything I've read seems to agree.

What interests me most beyond the games is the multimedia capabilities of the PSP. Add movie and music playback to a quality gaming experience, and its supposed to be the holy trinity of entertainment-based portable electronics. I say 'supposed to' because do you really want to watch movies on a tiny 4.3 inch display? I guess if that's all you had, sure, it could be cool. But are you going to shell out 20 bones for a movie that you can only watch on your PSP? I wouldn't.

What about music playback? It's an obvious feature to have for a portable electronics device. It's not too expensive to implement - it's actually just a matter of ordering the right components from China and Korea. But are you going to use the PSP to listen to your digital tunes? Again, I wouldn't for the simple reason that the PSP is too big to fit into your pocket, and if it doesn't fit into your pocket I won't carry it around with me (because I'll forget it or lose it). I have enough crap in my pocket (keys, USB drive, cell phone, wallet, iPod) and I refuse to stuff them with anything else. I also refuse to carry a man bag.

So in conclusion...I can't conclude. The PSP seems to get one out of three right, and it's the important one.

The iPod Shittle

We're all suckers for hype and excess, and the iPod Shittle definitely took advantage of our longing for a Flash based iPod successor. How crappy is the Shittle? Let's see, it's an oversized USB drive with no LCD screen; it's non-USB 2.0 full speed so it'll take you 20 mintues to transfer a gigs worth of music; and most of all it's overpriced. Oh, but it comes with a cool lanyard so you can hang it around your neck. Now if only I can get a lanyard for my sliderule too.

So with all the MP3 players out there, why all the Shittle hype? Why has there been very few respected media outlets to stand up and say this sucks? Well guess what, I'd like to tell you why, but I only have half the answer. And that answer is the dirty little secrets of media outlets who publish reviews and collumns on electronics items: their websites make money everytime they sell one of these items, and they collect money from advertisers whose products they would potentially be crapping on.

I'll delve deeper into this topic in future posts, but a case I'd like to point out is the CNET review on the Shittle. They gave it a 7.0, not a great rating, but not a bad one for CNET. I happened to have a conversation with an editor over there regarding this rating. He related to me that it caused quite an internal controversy, and that he and his faction of editors wanted to give it something closer to a 6 rating (which is what it truly deserves). He vented that the reason the people upstairs overruled him was that there was a lot of hype surrounding this product and they expected very high sales of them. One can easily infer what he was implying: a large majority of CNET's revenue comes from sales originating at the site (not a secret), and if they give it a bad review, no one will buy it from them. So for such a hyped product that was going to be a huge sales success, at least initially, can you blame them?

Made sense to me, so why am I disapointed? CNET was one of the sites I trusted for independent reviews. Trust me on this one, they really know how to hammer a product. But not anymore. No more trust from yours truly.

Haha, take that bitches.

Shit Goalies

I just heard this term today. It used to be used by someone in our office to describe my profession, and I think it is an apt analogy. Let me explain:

I work in PR and am basically a publicist for electronics and technology products. Companies (my clients) pay me, amongst other things, to garner (positive) publicity for their products and brand(s). There's a lot more to it, but the above description covers a lot of what I do.

Why is that a shit goalie? Well think of my client as the goal. Think of me as the goalie. Think of the outside world as trying to throw shit in there. It's my job to block it, by any ethical means necessary. If I have to use my face to block a nasty bout of diarrhea being thrown at us, then I'll take one for the team and get a reverse runny nose. Sometimes shit gets through, and a bad article gets published, but for the most part, we stay on the ball and make sure it’s the shiny happy stuff you read.

No, I can't lie or steal, but cheating is allowed sometimes, as long as it falls somewhere in the grey zone (and you can't get caught).

So what does this really mean? A client puts out a bad product: bury it under the rug with our mystical spin-doctoring ways. A client seemingly forgets to change the packaging on its product and customers have to pay an extra couple hundred bucks or so: bury it under the rug. I wish I could link to a couple articles on that one, talk about dodging a bullet and a couple class action lawsuits...

The good news for us shit goalies is that shit is water soluble and it cleans off easily. So don't worry about me (I know you were). I can go home, take a shower and all will be good until the next day, when I start over again. However, next time you see a bright shiny image of the latest and greatest gadget out there, right next to a glowing right-up and an editor splooging all over it in glorious copy, know there was a shit goalie making 'it happen.