New Shit Bitches

Like my mentor and guru Dave Chappelle, I couldn't deal with the 50 billion dollar contract given to me to create this blog and shirked my duties - not posting in several weeks. The pressure of those three readers a day poring over my unedited prose was too much and I strayed far from the path of rightousness. I wasn't staying true to myself and the original intention of this blog. It was time to step back and determine where this thing should really go. I almost gave up and said screw it, no more bloggin for me. Well, unfortunately, that didn't happen.

So guess what bitches, after some deep soul searching, I'm back and brand new. Ok, not brand new, but I am back, and you are all really not bitches.

Turns out I took a new job. But don't worry, I still work in PR, just with a different agency (that pays me more money. Woohoo, drinks on me). I also will no longer be doing PR for products and have a totally different set of clients, which means I can talk all the trash I want to about my previous experiences. Oh yeah, I'm going to name names and call a bitch a bitch, but don't worry, all three of you are still not bitches.

My first topic to address will be reviewers being paid to say good things about products. "No way," you exclaim in utter disbelief, "that really happens? Dude, who would have thunk it?"

Stay tuned bitches, stay tuned...

Sloppiness... Part Deux

I heard back from BusinessWeek regarding their shittiest review ever. They agreed to change two 'factual inaccuracies' in the review. However, everything else will remain the same because they believe it is factually accurate. The client is really upset about it, as they should be. They are a small company and a review like this can do them a lot of harm.

I don't know what to make of it. I don't understand what the point of a product review is if it does not fully address what the product does, which this one doesn't.

For example the excerpt below is from the Review:

"...And for basic song selection, the interface is disappointing. After ripping the CDs, the screen lists both the CDs and the digital files. That makes the list twice as long as necessary."

Here is an excerpt from the email I sent them addressing the above statement:

"Regarding your criticism that the music file list is disappointing because it is twice as long as it needs to be is not accurate. The general idea with a music server is to record your CDs onto the hard drive and then remove them for use elsewhere. You only needed to remove the CDs from the changer to remove the listings in the Music Guide. However, there are users that want both the CD and the compressed MP3 in the system so they can listen to one or the other depending on the location and quality of the playback device and this is the reason Escient keeps them displayed and playable from the Music Guide."

The reviewer's response was that his statement is accurate, regardless of the reasons for the double listings. While technically he is correct, he misses the point. They are listed twice so that the user can listen to either an MP3 or a CD quality playback of the song. The sound quality between the two is substantial, and the typical user of this product has a high-end system that will exaggerate the differences. Furthermore, after confronted with this rather sound (no pun intended) reasoning, he still concludes the user interface disappointing. How can you reach the same conclusion if the premise from you based it has changed significantly?

I think the reviewer had an agenda, needed a product to criticize and chose mine. Why, I don't know. But like I said before, us Shit Goalies deal with this shit for a living. What upsets me is that I expect a little bit more from a pub like BusinessWeek.

Shittle not so Shitty?

Looks like the masses have spoken, and like the recent presidential election demonstrates, the masses be dumb:

"Apple, citing figures it received from NPD Group, said the Shuffle instantly grabbed
43 percent of the market for digital players that use flash memory to store music."
(Fromthis article in the SF Chronicle)

But in all fairness, the commercial success of the Shittle tells me at least two things:

1) A successfully integrated marketing campaign can convince people to buy an oversized USB Drive with a headphone jack disguised as digital music player.

2) The Shittle is a well designed product from an aesthetic perspective. The design of a product, even (especially?) a consumer-trech product, can appeal to people on an emotional level and lead to commercial success.

By leveraging the popularity of the iPod into massive market penetration for the Shittle, Apple has landed another success. Congratulations. But the Shittle is still shitty.

Sloppiness

I would like to introduce you to the shittiest, crappiest, most sloppy and useless product review in the history of mankind. I have sent out hundreds of products for review, and never in my experience have I read such an incomplete and half-assed review of a product: The shittiest review ever

I may be outing myself a little by posting this, but fuck-it. This kind of sloppiness pisses me off. I fired off an email to the reviewer, and I will post that letter at a later date, once this situation has resolved itself. To summarize it, I pointed out 3 instances where the reviewer had his facts wrong and also asked why only half of the product's features were reviewed, and the other half ignored. Seriously, if you review a product, don't you review all of its features? Or am I asking for too much???

I would expect more from a publication like Business Week. However, this is the same pub that gave the iPod Shittle a 4/5 rating(read that review here).

To be continued...

Exhale...

We can all breathe a little easier people. Turns out, the Japanese PM is going to apologize to the Chinese for those little wartime atrocities. No need to worry about the impending gadget war.

This is actually a very smart move by the Japanese. Even though look weak by giving into the demands of the Chinese government so quickly, by doing so they are calling China's bluff. Obviously, the Chinese don't care about an apology. Stirring up public opinion against the Japanese was a calculated move raising opposition to them obtaining a permanent seat on the security council.

Now the ball is in China's court and they will no longer be able to rely on the old wartime atrocities defense. Can't wait to see what their next move is.

Cult of Gadgetry

Has the media's iPod hype gone too far when it starts seriously comparing it to religion? I know the Washington Times has a slight conservative bend to it (read: mother of Fox News), but come on...
Generation Y embraces choice, redefines religion
(4th paragraph)

The iPod is a quality product (I own one), but lets drop its cult of gadgetry status... Please?

Gadget Wars

Time to begin to live up to the title of this infant blog and do some real prospecting...on a global scale.

One topic I'd like to touch upon is the increasing political friction between Japan and China . It's no secret these two countries do not like each other. The majority of their vitriol stems from Japan's aggression in Manchuria in 1930 and gradual imperialist expansion along China's eastern sea board through the end of the war. In addition to military expansion, they did some nasty stuff there such as testing the human plague and mustard gas on otherwise healthy (and live) Chinese citizens. Then there's the rape of Nanking, which makes Abu Grab look like a Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disney World.

Currently tensions are heating up, especially on China's side where the people are protesting, under government auspices, on a scale that is unprecedented for the Communist oligarchy. These protests are taking two forms: a couple thousand Chinese throwing stones at the Japanese embassy, banks and restaurants like Palestinian wannabes, and a massive grass roots driven petition against Japan's ascension as a permanent member of the UN Security Council (11 million Chinese signatures so far).

Anyone in tune with the happenings of East Asia knows that the real reason the Chinese government is allowing these protests and petition movements, and in fact encouraging them, is due to Japan's recent declaration that it will help the US defend Taiwan if China attacks its 'renegade province'. Don't ever underestimate the importance of the Taiwan issue to China. There are some Chinese, especially certain military leaders who hold substantial sway, who would throw away the economic gains of the last two decades in exchange for recapturing Taiwan by force. It is an emotional issue for them, not a rational one.

So anyhow, nothing above is new, just a quick recap on a topic that has garnered a lot of coverage recently. However, one question that hasn't been asked, until this groundbreaking moment, is what happens to our tech gadgets if this tension increases to the point of war? Let's say China invades Taiwan and Japan and the US rush to her rescue? I know what's gonna happen: NO MORE GADGETS.

That means no more LCDs, Plasmas, computer components, micro processors and those cute Aibo robots for us anymore. Nope - We'll have nothing. They're all made in China, and China will be a bad guy for a while. Best Buy's shelves will be empty (not a bad thing if you ask me) and we won't be able to upgrade our cell phones every year.

The rational is simple - take a look at any tech device and it will most likely say made in China, they are the factory of the world. If it doesn't say made in China, such as most LCDs and Plasma displays, then there is a very high probability that the components in the device will have been made in China then shipped Japan or Taiwan for final assembly. If we're at war (by we I mean the US, pardon the provincial attitude) with China, then Congress will enact sanctions against them barring the import of products or products with components made in China. It's that simple.

So next time someone invites you to a peace rally, or to even hug a tree, don't automatically smack them. Think about the gadgets. Think about what happens to them if we go to war. There's too much at stake people.

Why Tivo Sucks

I'll tell you why (in a second). It's not because you have to fast forward through commercials instead of just pushing a button, it's not because they are promising to deliver pop-up ads while you fast-forward through a commercial, and it's not because of the legion of die-hard sell outs who use Tivo like its a verb and think they are hip while doing so. No, none of the above.

Tivo sucks because of those god-damn noises the machine makes every time you do something. It's constant, and it's really annoying. It's so annoying I refuse to even try to type out its pronunciation. The other day I used a Tivo for about 10 minutes before those damn noises made me put it down and stop watching TV. Imagine that, resorting to not watching TV. That's how much it sucks.

Sound Matters

One of the perks of my job is that I have access to high-end audio/video gear at steep discounts. I have fiscal priorities in my life and instead of spending my hard earned cash on amps, plasmas, and $1,000 cables, I spend most of my free cash on things like this.

However, I did make an investment over the past two years in a very nice AV system. I have a receiver valued at over 1k, a Universal DVD player that retails for around $1600 and a 7.1 speaker system that would set back a mere mortal about $2500. Of course, I paid about 1/3 of those prices for this gear, but it was still a hefty investment considering my means. The end result is that my system sounds great - yes that's a subjective claim, but if you don't believe me then invite yourself over for a listen.

I believe the key to my system is its ability to play multi-channel audio formats (here and here). If you've never listened a multi-channel audio disc, then you're missing out on a beautiful aspect of modern technology. Everything from Pink Floyd to Miles Davis, when played in an SACD or DVD-Audio format, puts you there right in the studio or front in center in the crowd. It's a technology that has lived up to the hype. But it has failed miserably commercially, and will probably go quietly away over the next few years.

Why? The simple answer is that people don't care about sound. What's important is the video displays. In particular plasma and LCD screens have garnered the most attention over the past two years. These have become a status symbol. They are sleek, they hang on your wall and they easily fit into the home decor making them an attractive buy for the queer eye loving crowd. One irony of flat screen displays is that people spend all their money on them, and get thrifty when it comes to speakers. Most of the speakers for plasmas are the cheap ones added on the sides that rely on the TV's internal amp, which is usually a measly 8 watts. You can't squeeze quality sound out 8 watts. The ones I've listened to are ok for dialogue, but there's no bass and they distort easily. So why spend 4k on a display if you can't hear it?

Although I could easily purchase a plasma at a sharply reduced price, I haven't. The title of this post explains why - I spend my money on a system geared toward sound, and every time I turn it on I thank myself for it. Sound does matter, even when watching DVDs. With a capable Dolby or DTS processor you can have the sound and fury of bullets flying behind your head or race cars zooming across your nose. Not to mention Miles tutin' his horn from 5.1 channels.

So in this shit goalie's humble opinion, it's far more wise to buy a less-expensive video display and spend your savings on some bad ass speakers or receiver. They are well worth the investment.